5 Ways to Know a Host Family is THE ONE

Hey Au Pairs,

Over on the Au Pair, Oh Paris Open Forum Facebook group, we’ve been discussing how we KNEW our host family was THE ONE.

Of course, many answers were “sheer desperation, I practically begged my potential host family to hire me.” But, there are some true telltale signs that you’ve found your family.

Some of the best advice to ensure you’ll end up with the perfect host family for you is “don’t rush into the first contract that is offered.” Take the time to talk to other families and even turn down those who you’re not 100% sure of.

In this post, we’ll look at a few of the things to consider to help you decide whether a host family is YOUR host family. If you’re struggling to even find a host family, here’s an old video of Edwina and I discussing HOW to find a host family (we’re such babies!)

1. Do You Want to Be Part of the Family?

Are you someone who really wants to be a member of the family? Or, when the day is over, would you like to retreat to your chambre de bonne and not have to speak to anyone?

I would recommend those who are just leaving home to consider the “member of the family” role. If you haven’t ever lived alone yet, this move abroad can be made even more intense if you’re simply treated like a servant and are having to spend weekends alone while you make friends.

However, if you’re comfortable living alone and have done it before, then perhaps being treated like a member of the family would be irritating.

I’d recommend writing a pro/con list to decide which option is right for you. I personally thought I’d LOVE living alone, but turns out I much preferred living with a host family for that comfort and chat on the weekend!

To find out whether you’ll be part of the family, ask! You’ll also know you’ll be treated like a family member if everyone talks to you on Skype or if they send you pictures.

2. Skype, Skype, Skype, Skype

One of the best ways to know that your host family is THE ONE is their willingness to talk to you via Skype. If your family is willing to show you around the apartment, regularly talk to you, keep you updated, and help you through the visa process, then you can know they’re the one.

If you ask to Skype and your potential host family says no every time, perhaps this is something to consider… Sometimes it takes you some time to realise that they actually don’t really fit or that they are perfect.

How does the conversation flow? Is it easy to talk to your host family or are you struggling for conversation? Of course, there may be a language barrier but this is to be expected! Are your potential host family willing to try and make conversation, or do they ignore your calls?

Evaluate how you feel after you’ve spoken to the family, are you excited about your big move or do you feel moody and on edge? This is a big indicator.

3. Is Your Host Family Dynamic Similar to Your Own Family?

This was an interesting point raised in the group and one I may not have thought of myself but think about the family dynamic of your host family. Is it similar to your own?

By living with a family that has a similar dynamic, you may feel more comfortable and know how things work.

4. Don’t Ignore that Gut Feeling

When it comes to signing the contract, spend some time thinking about everything you know about this family. Do they feel like the right fit? Are you worried about moving in with them?

If there is anything you’re concerned about, now is the time to speak up and ask your family a few hard questions. Remember, you’re interviewing them just as much as they’re interviewing you!

Don’t be afraid to turn around and cancel the contract if this family just don’t seem to be right. You will find someone else who is better.

5. Do They Meet Your Criteria

Before Edwina and I even went into a Skype call, we had a huge list of questions to ask. We’ve previously made videos on this topic and recommend you writing out your own list too.

Figure out what’s a make or break situation. We also recommend looking at the Au Pair World criteria for what a host family is expected to provide. If they want you to do anything dodgy, like avoid getting a visa, getting paid under the table, or not having insurance, this is a HUGE red flag.

Know your rights and what you should be receiving before you even speak to a host family. This way, you’ll know what to expect and can let any potential host families know that they’re taking advantage.