How to Look After Your MENTAL HEALTH as an Au Pair
Hey Au Pairs,
Last week, the APOP team had a gathering on Zoom to have a catch-up on everything that has been going on. We’re all scattered across the world with a few in the US, the Netherlands, Mexico, Spain, and I’m in the UK!
The conversation, of course, quickly moved onto COVID-19 and how we’re all coping. A few of us have moved during the pandemic (you can read about Nelli’s experience, here!) and are adjusting to a new way of life.
It got me thinking, the au pair process can be tough on your mental health regardless of a global pandemic, but with COVID-19 making us wary of strangers, it’s even harder. SO, I thought I’d write a blog post on the ways in which you can look after your mental health as an au pair.
(Ps. this podcast this week was all about how to get out of a funk as Edwina and I both find ourselves grappling with transition periods and feeling… funky! Check that out here.)
1. Bring Comforting Items from Home
We’ve addressed on this before on the blog (check out this article about the 6 things I wish I’d brought with me on my au pair year), but I feel it can never be overstated. I needed a few creature comforts. I’m talking my favourite snacks for when I was feeling homesick, pictures of my family and friends to adorn my room, a couple of books that always made me feel better, and a working phone/laptop so I could easily call home/listen to podcasts. Heck, bring your favourite pair of socks!
When you’re feeling homesick of low, being able to rely on a few creature comforts can lift your mood. Throw on your cosiest outfit, grab some delicious snacks, call home or watch your favourite TV show! (Edwina suggests grabbing some stress balls for when you’re feeling frustrated or stressed out too.)
Also, we definitely recommend bringing a journal to not only help record your year abroad but to also jot down your emotions! This should be a whole heading in itself, to be honest, but Edwina just suggested it as her most comforting item so, it’s staying here.
2. Take Yourself on a Date
This could be as simple as going for a long walk and listening to a podcast or it could be something more extravagant such as taking yourself out for breakfast and reading a book! You might also even go and get your nails done or wander around a museum. There are hundreds of options for day trips out on your own. Essentially, you should do something that interests you, that you feel with lift your mood, and that you know you’ll enjoy doing alone.
A few more solo date ideas include:
Enjoying a film at the cinema
Starting a new class, such as dance or even circus
Visiting a spa (or setting up a mini spa evening in your own home)
Attending an event at an art gallery
Please send us your ideas for solo dates on Instagram. We’d love to hear how others pamper themselves and are always looking for new ideas ourselves. My personal favourite is to go to a cafe and write in my journal or read. Just having a coffee alone and giving myself time to jot down my thoughts does my mind wonders.
3. Start A regular Exercise Routine
Edwina is SO good at managing to get herself up and out in the morning. She feels great when she has a consistent exercise routine, and I’m sure I would too but I’m absolutely terrible at keeping things consistent. However, I have found that I absolutely love cycling, swimming, and yoga. Meanwhile, running doesn’t do anything for me. So, if you want to create a regular exercise routine, try first finding out what it is you love.
Did you know Edwina is also in a circus group AND goes to regular dance classes? She can’t sit still! But, these two options are so fun and get you moving without thinking “ugh, this treadmill is so boring!” Need a few more tips like these? Listen to our podcast "How to Get Out of a Funk”.
I spent SO much time in the English section of my local bookshop and library when I first moved to Berlin. Thankfully, there were comfy chairs and no-one bothered me. It’s also where I met my boyfriend!
4. Read Lots About People in Your Situation
Are you struggling with anxiety? Are you homesick? Are you worried about the pandemic? Whatever you are feeling, it’s highly likely that someone has written about the same emotion. Check out the many, many options online and try reading about other people’s experiences. Learning about how people dealt with the Spanish Flu pandemic in 1918 taught me a lot. Check out books such as:
The Body Keeps the Score
An Unquiet Mind
It’s Not Ok to Feel Blue (and Other Lies)
Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come
Again, this list is never ending. Do a quick Google search using the symptoms you’re feeling and the word “book” and you'll be amazed by how many helpful people there out there. If you can’t quite find what you’re looking for, read around the topic and learn from blogs, books, and talking to people.
5. Find YOUR Favourite Places in the City
It may sound ridiculous, but one of my favourite places in Berlin was the Starbucks at Potsdammer Platz. It stayed open late, there were always lots of students milling around, and it had comfortable armchairs so I could sit, read, not be bothered by anyone, and look out of the huge windows! I used to regularly go there in the evenings before I knew anyone or had anything else to do and again later on! Sometimes, the best way to look after your mental health is to get out of your house.
I’d often get chatting to new people while exploring new cafes or bars and made friends that way too. By finding the places that you love, perhaps it’s a park, or a cafe, or a restaurant, you can find solace when you need to escape your host family’s house or your chambre de bonne.
Look for serene places that make you feel calm. Getting out into nature always helps, but this can be pretty difficult to do during winter or when you’re living in the centre of a city. Instead, head to an art gallery or museum, again!
6. Meet Lots of New People
Although you may not feel like meeting people, it’s always a good idea to push yourself into going out a few times per week as an au pair to meet new people. This process can drag but, hopefully, after many friend dates, you’ll find people who you love spending time with. Friends that you make during your year abroad are likely to be friends for life. You’ll bond over your strange new au pair lives and have many fun days out while your friends back home are stuck at uni or work, ha!
Just know that if you’re struggling to make friends now, the best answer is to put in some effort. Try a range of ways to meet people such as clubs, classes, Bumble BFF, Facebook groups, and of course, by becoming an APOP member.
9. Pick Up Yoga and Meditation
We’ve all heard the amazing benefits that yoga and meditation have for your mental health, but have you ever tried implementing them into your daily routine? If you have, let me know how you do it! I’m always trying to meditate and do yoga and somehow never quite manage to make them stick, but when I do, I notice the benefits.
SPEAK TO A PROFESSIONAL
Calling your friends and family is great, but if you’re finding that this doesn’t help lift your spirits at all, it might be time to speak to a professional. There are now hundreds of options for you to choose from. This is a useful resource for Brits and this is a useful resource for Americans. Make sure you do some research before hiring anyone. But, remember that prioritising your mental health and spending au pair pocket money on therapy is a great idea. I wish someone would have told me this!
Anyways, if you have more ideas for how to look after your mental health, please do send them over to us! It’s so useful to have a list to look back on when you’re feeling low. I find it helps to remind me of the things I should be doing, not sitting in bed scrolling through social media. If you’re interested in reading more ideas, check out this blog post over on Au Pair BUTRFLY’s website too!