5 Tips for Awkward Host Parent Conversations!

As an APOP Community we are all in this together!

Hey Au Pairs!

My name is Hannah (a different Hannah, note the extra h!) and I am an au pair in the western suburb of Saint Germain en Laye, only 25 minutes from the centre of Paris. I look after three wonderful girls aged 4, 8 and 10.

My situation is a bit different as my host mom doesn’t work, so I am home with her 24/7. This can lead to a lot of awkward situations where she is watching over me like a hawk! Whether it’s discussing money, or behavioural issues, or even about something personal you want to bring up with the parents it can be intimidating to bring something up when you don’t know how they will react.

Here are 5 tips for how to have awkward conversations with your host parents, because believe me, I’ve had them!

1. Send a text first

I always like to give my host parents a heads up when there is something on my mind that I want to talk about. Even if it’s just “Hi can we take five minutes tonight after dinner to talk.” I think the way that parents respond often has a lot to do with how and when you talk to them. By arranging a specific time, you are giving them a chance, as well as yourself, to prepare for the conversation.

2. Hear the parents out

I couldn’t tell you how many times, I’d overthink, and rehearse arguments before even starting the conversation, only to have the parents be completely understanding to me. Make sure you give the parents a chance to speak before you make assumptions on how they are going to react.

3. Approach with honesty

This makes it easier for you in the long run; it’s a lot easier to stick with the truth than remember the story you told. There is no need to make up a long elaborate story about say, why you want them to split your Navigo payment or when you need them to reimbuse you, I think parents are much more responsive when you are completely honest. Being honest will also allow you to be vulnerable with the parents and thus bring a greater bond.

Edwina shares a story about an elaborate lie she made up about overtime hours in the “How to Have Awkward Conversations” video on APOP, take a look… looking back, I bet it would have been a lot clearer with honesty.

4.Have evidence

This is especially important for conversations concerning money or reimbursement. Keep receipts when you buy something out of your money for the family and bring them to the conversation. Having this proof leaves little room for debate with how much you’ve spent.

5. Have a clear action plan

When the awkward conversation concerns something more than just reimbursement, it is important to have a plan of what you would actually like to come from the conversation. For example, if you’ve been having trouble disciplining the children with little support from the parents, then come to the conversation with an action plan of how you would like the parents to help and support you.

Being an Au Pair can be so rewarding but we all know that there will be times when we want to give up. But just remember that something your host family is doing that is driving you nuts could be changed with a simple, yet awkward conversation. I want to hear about some of the awkward conversations you’ve had to have with your host parents, leave some comments below!

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